One Piece: The Abridged Series
by RubberMan
Summary: Chapter 6 is FINALLY UP! Took me a while, but I finally put it online. Expect more chapters over Summer Vacation. Oh, and i do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Characters. 4kids, and creator of Yu-Gi-Oh! owns them. LittleKuriboh owns the Abridged version of it.
1. Gold Roger Dies

Author's Note + Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, or any other anime series parodies that appears in the Abridged Series. Please note that this is my first time publishing fanfiction, so please do not review anything bad. If anyone is in contact with Little Kuriboh or TeamDattebayo, please ask them to read this and tell me how it is(If they watch One Piece, that is). If it is not a good Abridged Series, then I will technically kill myself.

Luffy: You can't kill yourself! What will happen to my story!

Author's Note: The people haven't even read this story yet! Who knows if it'll be a good Abridged Series.

Luffy: …Fine.

Author's Note: Anyway, I will try to make this a real Abridged Series when I am older. Here is the premeire of the One Piece: The Abridged Series!

Note:

Talking

[Flashback]

(RubberMan. that's me)

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There once was a man named Gold Roger, who was king of the pirates. He had fame, wealth, and power beyond your wildest dreams. Before they hung him from the gallows, these were the final words he said:

Gold Roger: ………………

Random Person from audience: Aren't You gonna say something? I mean at least say Good Bye.

Gold Roger:………………

Random Marine: Uh-Oh. I think we screwed the…uh…what is that?

Another Random Marine: I don't know.

Random Marine: Anyways, I think we screwed that thing on too tight.

Gold Roger: (whispering)…you think!?

Random: Let's Unscrew it a bit.

They un screw it.

Gold Roger: Finally. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WHILE YOU WERE SCREWING ME IN?!?!?!

Marines: Uhh.....

[Flash Back]

Other Marine 1: Hey, wanna just forget about this guy and go get some Coca-Cola?

Other Marine 2: Sure.

[End Flash Back]

Marines: ...Nothing...

Gold Roger: I mean, at least give me my last words when I die. Never Mind, I'm Just gonna say what I've been trying to say.

He gets ready to say it, then...

Gold Roger: Does Anyone Know Why I'm talking without moving my teeth and mouth? I must be a master ventriloquist! Yay ventriloquism!

Marine: Actually It's because the writer wanted you to have stitches in your mouth.

Gold Roger: WHAT?!?! What the Hell Was he thinking. Never mind. Anyway, Just kill me.

(Marines Kill him. Splash…of blood! Just kidding)

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Well, that's basically Chapter 1, the chapter where Gold Roger Dies. If You like my Abridged Series, revbiew and tell me!

P.S. Sorry that the Chapter was so short. If you are wondering why it was so short, well I'm just as confused as you are! Just kidding.

Review!


	2. Raiders of the Lost Luffy

Author's note and Disclaimer = remember, I do not own One Piece, or any other Parodies on this series. Also, it seems a certain "someone" told me to rewrite my last chapter and post it AGAIN. Apparently, for you idiots who don't know, I was there when it happened, but was unable to hear what he was saying due to the fact that I was sleeping the whole time, therefore, ignoring his review. Anyway, that takes Luffy out of the Disclaimer. Fortunately, since he said I couldn't talk with imaginary character's I am indeed able to talk to real people(imaginarily talking to them, if you know what I mean), so here is, the one and only, Dan Green! Hi Dan

Dan- Hi RubberMan.

RM- so he will be replacing Luffy for a few episodes. So, without further ado, here is Chapter 2!

Notes:

Talking

_Thinking_

(RM aka RubberMan)

-- official beginning of the chapter

Luffy- In today's episode-

Yami- let me say it. It's MY joke.

Luffy- Sure

Yami- In tonight's chapter, and probably all the other chapters from now on, Monkey D. Luffy will be played by Dan Green, which is me.

--

Alvida- Hey Kody!

Koby- It's Koby!

Alvida- Fine, what ever, Cody. I need you to steal some treasure from the ship we are gonna savage, er, invade.

Koby- Fine.

(meanwhile on the ship that they are gonna invade)

Nami- Hmm…something doesn't seem right..

Stranger- May I take this dance, m'am?

Nami- no thanks. _Ugh. Now I know what seems wrong. He smells, yuck!_

Sailor 1- Hey, there seems to be a barrel of beer over there.

Sailor 2- I know! Let's catch it so we can get drunk. Then, We'll be fired and off we go to paradise!

Sailor 1- Good Idea! Here I go! Grappling hook, go!

(he misses)

Sailor1- Aw maan!

Sailor 2- Nice try, amateur.

Sailor 1- I just need practice.

Sailor 2- Practice Shmactice. I know a better way.

Sailor 1- really? What do we do?

Sailor 2- I use my TELEKINESIS POWERS!

(8 minutes later, and Legend of Zelda's treasure finder, or something of the sort, plays)

Sailor 2- see? I told u it worked!

Sailor 1- good thinking Sailor 2! By the way, what's your name?

(Sailor 3 spots a Pirate ship. Alvida's ship, obviously)

Sailor 3- Oh MY GOD! Pirates!

Sailor 1- Of the Caribbean!?

Sailor 3- No, just the Alvida Pirates.

Sailor 1- DANG IT! _I wanted to meet Jack Sparrow! Or is it Jack Swallow? Dang it! Ever since I've watched Epic Movie, I could neve tell the difference between Sparrow and Swallow. I'm not sure if it's even Sparrow. It COULD be Swallow. Or maybe it's Skellington._

Sailor 2- The Alvida Pirates don't matter to the series. So it's ok to not tell everyone else. After all, "What could POSSIBLY go wrong?"

Alvida- RAID THE PIRATE SHIP!

Sailor 2- d'oh!

Captain of the ship who has yet to be named- Hold on tight, passengers! I'm sure it's nothing. Now let me go to safety while I let you guys die.

Passenger 1- You can't do that, that's against the rules!

Captain- Screw the Rules, I have-

Seto Kaiba- don't even THINK about finishing that line. The whole Abridged Universe knows that that line belongs to ME!

Captain- Fine. Have it your way.

Alvida- Koby, steal some treasure.

Koby- No-

(Alvida kicks him to the ship)

Alvida- STEAL SOME TREASURE NOW!

Koby- Yes m'am.

(Aboard the S.S. Loser, as in the ship that always gets repaired because of it's bad luck, Koby finds a barrel full of Monkey, and music from Mario vs. Donkey Kong plays)

Pirate 1- Hi Koby, what's in there?

Koby- I don't know.

Pirate 2- Lier, Lier, pants on fire!

Pirate 1- give it to me, I'll open it. It's probably beer anyway.

Pirate 2- What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Luffy- NYEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!(and punches Pirate 1)

Pirate 2- OH MY GOD! A MONKEY! ON THE OCEAN!

Pirate 3- let's get him, he knocked out Pirate 1. by the way, what was his name?

(Luffy Punches both the Pirates)

Luffy- that's Monkey D. LUFFY to you!

Koby- he was reffering to Pirate 1.

Luffy- Oh. Ok. Let's go on the Poop Deck, so I can Poop. I haven't pooped in 8 days.

Koby- _Ewwww. No wonder the barrel smealt soooo bad!_

(on the Poop deck)

Alvida- hmm? Who are you?

Luffy- I'm the man who will become King of All Abridgers! Even more popular than LittleKuriboh, MasakoX, and TeamDattebayo!

Alvida- Uh oh!

(Luffy Punches Alvida)

Alvida- Nooo. Pirate Alvida's balsting off again!.........*twinkle*

Luffy- hurry, find a boat!

(they find a boat)

Luffy- Oh My God! Nami, I found u already! Wanna join my crew?

Nami- not yet.

Koby- so where to now?

Luffy- Marine Base on So-and-so Island.

Koby- the island where Zolo is at?

Luffy- Yup. And his name's Zoro, not Zolo.

Koby- ok.

RM- so, there's chapter 2. Hope u guys liked it. Review plz. By the Way, if u r gonna review something critically bad, then don't review at all.

Review Plz!


	3. Where the Marine once lived and died

Author's Note + Disclaimer = Remember, I do not own One Piece, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series' character camoes, or any other parody that is in the story. By the way, Dan Green couldn't me it today because……(looks at note he gave him)…"I have FAR too much money to come on today. Plus I'm busy with the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged Series.

Ok, onto chapter 3!

Talking

_Thinking_

(RM)

[actual FUNimation/4kids dialouge]

--official beginning

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Yami- I'm not actually in this chapter. Come to think of it, I'm not in ANY chapter. That stinks! I wanted to meet Jack Sparrow.

--

Luffy- well, here we are Cody-

Koby- it's Koby, not Cody. If it was Cody, Zack would be with me.

Luffy- ok. _I wonder if Dan Green Lives here-_

Dan Green- No I don't.

Luffy- _Dang it! I wanted to meet him!_ So, Koby, do you know where the Marine Base is?

Koby- Luffy, If I knew then I would be running straight there without walking beside you.

Luffy- Good Point.

Captain Axe Hand Morgan- Marines!

Marine 1- yes sir.

Morgan- I want you to- wait a minute. How come you're the only one here?

Marine 1- The rest of the Marines went to finish your Statue, that is obviously going to break later in the chapter.

Morgan- what did you say?

Marine 1- nevermind.

Luffy- Hey guy. Do you know where the Marine HQ is?

(everyone backs away from Luffy and Cody-

Koby- It's Koby!

(…anime style)

Luffy- ??? I wonder what they r all afraid about?

Koby- I wonder if it has anything to do with Voldemort-

(They, again, back away from them, anime style)

Luffy- (laughing) I like these people. They're so funny[actual FUNimation/4kids dialouge].

Koby- oh, here we are!

(The front gate says as the following: The Idiotic Navy Base controlled by the Marines)

(Then they see Rika, the Swedish girl with a Swedish accent, going in there)

Rika- Shhhhhhhh

Luffy and Koby- ???

(She goes in and approaches Zolo-

Zoro- it's Zoro!

(-and approaches Zoro)

Rika- Hi Zoro.

Zoro- oh. It's you. What do you and your Swedishness want again?

Rika- I brought some chocolated-covered riceballs for you!

Zoro- Oh No, not again! I will never eat your riceballs ever again!

Rika- since when?

Zoro- since your last batch.

Rika- _Aw Man! I wanted his autograph!_

Helmeppo- Hi Guys!

Zoro- Not you again!

Helmeppo- yes, me again! I want to congratulate you for surviving this month.

Zoro- Thanks!_ NOT!_

Helmeppo- I- OHHHH!!! Cookies! I love cookies! Must. Have. Chocolate-coved. Cookies!

Rika- They're Riceballs.

Helmeppo- WTF!(Spit's 'em out) Who the hell baked these?

Rika- I did.

Helmeppo- I don't ever want to see your sorry little -

Marine 2- SIR! Not in front of the kid!

Helmeppo- Sorry. I don't ever want to see your sorry little butt in this Idiotic Navy Base which is Controlled by Marines Ever Again! Solider 3, Kick her over the wall.

Solider 3- Yes sir! (approaches Rika) Sorry Rika, but I have to do this.

Rika- It's ok. By the way, what's your name?

(Chariots of Fire plays while Rika is being thrown over the wall and while Luffy is catching her)

Rika- thanx!

Luffy- No Problem. (As Helmeppo leaves, he goes over the wall and approaches Zolo-

Zoro- It's Zoro!

(-and approaches Zoro)

Luffy- Hi Zoro.

Zoro- Hi Luffy. Wait, We just met, so how in the name of Gold Roger did I know your name?

Luffy- Uhmmm…Uh……You Guessed?

Zoro- I think so.

Luffy- _It's actually because I know ever person who will join my crew, and when I meet them, they remember my name!_ Wanna Join My Crew?

Zoro- only if u get my swords.

Luffy- Done deal! Gum-Gum….Arrow!(and goes towards the front gate

Zoro- _WHOA! When I join his crew, he HAS to promise me he'll teach me that. Rock on, Straw-Hat!_

Marines- FREEZE!

Marine 3- Ah!

Marine 4- We are not Dragon Ball Z, We Are One Piece. So don't say Freeza's name.

Marine 3- Fine.

Zoro- _After he get's me out of here._

Luffy- _I wonder where his swords are? Better ask Helmeppo, when I find him. Hmm???_

Marines- Heave! Ho! Heave! Ho!

Morgan- Lift my Sexy Self up your slaves, er, I mean Marines!

Marines- Sir, yes sir!

Luffy- Time for my Gomu-Gomu nooo—Rocket!

(He does that, and breaks the statue of Morgan)

Morgan- Make him pay for destroying my statue!

Marines- Sir yes Sir!

Luffy- Gotta Get outta here!

(Big Bad Werewolf from Scooby Doo plays, and he spot's Helmeppo)

Luffy- Helmeppo, where are Zoro's swords?

Helmeppo- In my room. Why do you ask- wait a minute, you're not a marine!

Luffy- Neither Are you.

Helmeppo- Good Point.

Marines- Freez-

Marine 5- A!

Marine 6- For the last time, we are not Dragon Ball Z!

Marine 5- Sorry.

Luffy- _I need a human bodyguard. Helmeppo should do just fine!_

(He grabs Helmeppo and starts running)

Luffy- Now you can shoot.

Marines- FIRE!

Helmeppo- Wait! If you shoot me, you'll also shoot the 100,000,000 suit daddy bought me, and u don't wanna get him angry any more, now do u?

Marine 7- Good Point. AIM FOR THE SKIN!

Helmepo- NOOO!!!!

(Luffy hides with Helmeppo in his room)

Luffy- Here we are.(By this time, Helmeppo has been KO'd). I wonder which sword is his? _Doesn't really matter. I'll take 'em all. Then I can steal the others!_(He takes 'em all)

(Meanwhile, on the grounds of Navy Base..)

Koby- Hi. I'm here to help.

Zoro- Great. First a guy who looks like a retard(Helmeppo), a Swedish-speaking Girl(Rika), then the guy who has rubber powers(Luffy). Now, I'm being assaulted by a guy with Pink Hair! Seriously, when am I gonna see some normal people for once.

Koby- Zolo-

Zoro- It's Zoro

Koby- Zoro- You're an Idiot.

Zoro- Ah! Touch-

Iruka Umino- No. If my quote will be stolen, then I want people from the Naruto Abridged Series to steal it.

Zoro- Fine, have it your way.

Koby- AH!!!(He got shot) What's this red stuff I've never seen before that's obviously not blood.

Marine 4- We shot you with ketchup. Unfortunately, Bullet's weren't allowed in 4kids, so we used ketchup instead!

Koby- NO! Ketchup is the one and only weakness for the weak like me!

Marines- Now, Fire!

Luffy- Gum Gum Arow!

(He deflects the bullets)

Luffy- Ha! I'm a Straw Hat, and Straw Hat's will always live on!

Random Marine- Isn't it because you ate the Gum Gum Fruit, and that bullet's don't affect you?

Luffy- Partially it. Here are the swords, but I don't know which one is yours.

Zoro- They're all mine. I practice 3-sword style.

Luffy- _Darn it! I wanted to steal some swords._

Zoro- Now untie me now!

(and you know what happens next)

Luffy- Nice! I'm gonna be King of the Pirates! And I'm gonna need the world's best swordsman on my side.

Zoro- I'll take the offer. As long as you teach me your Gum-Gums.

Luffy- I'll explain everything to you later.

(Morgan appears. What will they do now? Will they):

A) Screw the rules

B) Write his name in the Death Note

C) Make an early 1990's joke that no one will possibly get?

D) Ask him three questions(Correct answer)

Luffy- Morgan!

Zoro- WHAT! Is your name?

Morgan- Captain "Axe-Hand" Morgan. The author couldn't give me a last name due to the fact that I'm an unimportant character to the series.

Luffy- WHAT! Is your goal?

Morgan- To rid the world of Pirates.

Zoro- WHAT! Game in the Soul Calibur Series has Darth Vader and Master Yoda Guest appear in?

Morgan- EASY! Soul Calibur 3…..Wait a minute- it's-

Lufy- Wrong answer.

(and together, they defeated Morgan[temporarily]. Until…)

Helmeppo- JUST A MINUTE! You lay 1 finger on their heads and Cody over here-

Koby- It's Kob- oh why do I even bother.

Helmeppo continues- and Koby here gets a beating of-

Luffy- ok seriously, what the eff is that? It looks like a hammer gun from a horrible Super Mario Bros. Game(reffering to the hammer-gun-spring thingy from the 4kids edition of One Piece). I'm not joking. Anyways, I'll just punch you.

(8 minutes later)

Luffy(talking to Zoro)- Well, we beat Helmeppo and Morgan(Morgan tried to use the element of surprise on Luffy, but Zoro got to him first. Then all the Marines cheered "Horray to the Pirate who we have no Idea about!") Let's go home!

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RM- Well, there's the 3rd Chapter. Hope you guys liked it. Review please!


	4. It's all in the GumGum

Author's Note + Disclaimer = I don't own One Piece, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series references(LittleKuriboh does), or any other parodies that appear in this Abridged Series. One Piece is owned by Toei Animation, TV Tokyo, FUNimation Entertainment and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release. And the Straw Hats. We're running low on food. And meat. And FOOODDD!! And the script might change when I put this on video, which is a couple of months, possibly years. Anyone who wants to do OP: TAS with my script needs to have me approve of it first.

RM- Anyways, before we begin, we must pray for the greatest person on Earth, next to Monkey D. Luffy, Portgas D. Ace, I mean Gol D. Ace, to survive…..Now onto One Piece the Abridged Series!

P.S. There's a twist at the beginning of the chapter. Hope u have a good voice.

Talking

_Thinking_

Song

[actual 4kids/FUNImation dialogue](If there is any)

{Flashback!}

--official beginning

(RM)

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Luffy- It's probably best just to skip over this chapter. It's probably just a flashback anyways.

--

Koby- Bye Luffy. Bye Zolo-

Zoro- It's Zoro!

Koby- Bye Zoro. Hope you guys have a nice trip to the next arc!

Luffy- You too!

(1 hour later)

Zoro- Luffy, now what do we do?

Luffy- How about sing a song?

Zoro- depends, which song?

Luffy- We Are! In Japanese!

Zoro- ok. COUNTDOWN!

Luffy- 4!

Zoro- 3!

Luffy- 2! (We Are plays while they are singing)

Arritakeno yume o Kakiatsume! Sagashi mono sagashini yuku no sa!

Poketo no Coin! Soreto You wanna be my friend!

We Are, We Are! On The Cruise!

We Are!

Zoro- Man, that was good.

Luffy- I- Oh No! My Straw Hat! If it goes into the ocean and drowns, then I will be helpless and I won't be able to live anymore! Catch it!

Zoro- Got it!

(By this time, the Flashback starts.)

{Flashback}

Young Luffy- Hey Shanks! Can I be a pirate on your Pirate crew?

"Red Hair" Shanks- Not yet, Luffy. Maybe if you wear female clothing like the rest of us, then I'll consider it.

Young Luffy- Ewww. You wear female clothing!

Shanks- Hahaha(laughing). Of course I don't. Only Girls wear those clothings.

Makino(who happened to be a girl)- So you're saying that I don't have spunk?

Shanks- I didn't mean it like that.

Young Luffy- Fine but- Ohhh. Milk! Milk gives us strong bones and helps us become Great Pirate Kings!

Shanks- That's only in fairy Tales, like Pinnochio.

Young Luffy- Shanks, Pinnochio was the story of a puppet who wanted to become a real boy. It was Treasure Planet that had the Fairy Tale.

Shanks- What makes you say that?

Young Luffy- It was the only Disney Movie that had Pirates in it. Peter Pan also had Pirates, but it didn't have milk.

Shanks- What about Pirates of the Caribbean?

Luffy- All it had was rum and live-action violence.

Shanks- Good Point.

Higuma the Bear- I'm hear to drink beer and play Mountain Bandit, but I'm all out of beer.

Shanks- Hey! Want some beer?

Higuma- I change my mind. I don't want beer. It's bad for the intestine. I'm leaving.

(He leaves. And Shanks laughs)

Shanks- (laughing) Who ever said beer is bad for the intestine?

Luffy- Oh My God! Are You STUPID! Of COURSE It's bad! If u get an infected liver, then you probably won't be able to say another Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged Reference ever again!

Yami- WHAT! But that's just confusing. Not to mention Highly Unlikely.

Shanks- Yami's right. I won't die. I'm a Straw Hat, and Straw Hats will always survive!

Luffy- Shanks, you give me your hat after I eat this delicious fruit!

Shanks- What? What delicious fruit?

(Luffy eats the Gum Gum Fruit)

Shanks- Ahhhh!!! SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!

Marik(who apparently was able to time travel as well as Yami)- The rod commands you to do it right now!

Shanks- THROW UP RIGHT NO-

(and Luffy streches)

Shanks- Oh No! You've eaten the Gum-Gum Fruit!

Luffy- What's that? Do I get to chew Gum forever! Sweet!

Shanks- No sweet! You have to strech like Rubber forever, unable to swim!

Luffy- Ah!

Shanks- Legend has it that the Devil Fruit come from the Devil Tree, which is found deep inside the Grand Line. It sprouts Fruit which gives you magical Powers depending on it's type, but you can not swim ever again. These Fruit only sprout only after the one who has eaten it dies, then it regrows on the Grand Line. There are more than 100 types of Zoan, Paramecia, and Logia out there combined, so be careful. Your Devil Fruit is the Gum-Gum Fruit, which is a Paramecia-type Devil Fruit. It give you the power to strech like rubber.

Luffy- Sweet. I'm gonna test this thing on Higuma.

Shanks- Ok- Hey, wait a minute!

Luffy- Hey, Higuma!

Higuma- Yeah, what?

(Meanwhile near the mayor)

Makino- Mayor! Mayor! MAYOR! Luffy's in Trouble!

Woop Slap(Not joking. That's actually his name)- _Uh-Oh!_

(They run towards the center of town to find Higuma tieing up Luffy)

Luffy- Let me go you weirdo!

Higuma- Sorry, but I can't do that.

Luffy- Why not?

Higuma- Because The story already happened. I can't just make stuff up. Who do you think I am? LittleKuriboh?

Luffy- ….Uhhh……yes?

Woop Slap- STOP!

Higuma- ……………uh…by any chance..have you ever thought of your plan to stop me AFTER you said STOP! To me?

Woop Slap- Oh….Curses! Foiled again.

Shanks- Not yet!

(Indiana Jones theme plays)

Higuma- Great. Another Indy Jones Fanboy. Bandit #1, go kill him.

Shanks- Hey! I'm not a Fanboy! I'm a FanMAN!

(Lucky Roux then kills Bandit #1. I wonder what his name was. Anyways, a little note here: Lucky Roux is the only person in the entire series to actually kill someone. How conveniant, eh?)

Higuma- Oh No! Bandit #1! Great, I don't know HIS name, but I know Lucky Roux's name, like all of the other minorly minor pirates and bandits out there.

Shanks- Now, give him to me. NOW!

Higuma- Bandit-Like Quick-Escape Smokey Tarts!

(Note: Smokey Tarts are from the western cartoon show Codename: Kids Next Door)

Shanks- Ah Kangaroos! He escaped!

Woop Slap(Or someone who says that quote)- They couldn't have gotten that far.

Higuma- I never thought that those Smokey Tarts were that powerful of a Time Warp.

Luffy- Actually, You just came here by accident

Higuma- Aw Gram Crackers. Oh well, my intention was to bore you to death, but since we're are in the middle of the ocean, and the fact that you can't swim by the power of the devil fruit, I'll just drown you.

Luffy- HELP!

Higuma- Good bye. God I hope no one comes to save you, otherwise my plan will totally be foiled

Shanks- Totally Random Rescue!

Higuma- Aw Gram Crackers. Oh well, so long suckers. I got to- OH MY GOD! BYE!

Shanks- Oh well, so much for that.

Luffy- OH SWEET! Can I have no left arm to?

Shanks- Heavens no. You're rubber. It'll hurt even more to you than it hurt me.

(1 day later)

Shanks- Oh well, bye Luffy!

Luffy- Bye Shanks. I'm gonna create my own crew when I'm 10 years older, then I'm gonna defeat you!

Shanks- Possibly, you will. Anyways, Have my Straw Hat- OH MY GOD!

:Luffy- What?

Shanks- You WERE RIGHT! I DID give you my hat! You WILL Succeed me! You ARE PSYCHIC!

Luffy- Actually, I'm not. I just read the script.

Shanks- Oh……….ok. Bye Luffy.

Luffy- Bye Shanks!

[END FLASHBACK]

Zoro- Got it!

Luffy- Thanx.

Zoro- By the Way, that was one Weird flashback

Luffy- Thanx. Wanna just do your flashback next chapter?

Zoro- Don't Care, I just want to get this thing over With.

Luffy- Ok.

(Ending- Indiana Jones Theme music plays)

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Well, that's the chapter. See you guys later. By the Way, I might do a Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie FanFiction. So you Waverly Place Fans might wanna expect that. I won't make any promises though.


	5. Kuina, What the Hell REVISED

Disclaimer + Author's Note- I do not own One Piece or any of the references I put on the Abridged Series chapters.

RM- sorry it took me so long. Homework was harder than I expected. Oh well. Anyways, I have a special surprise for you guys. Since I haven't been posting any chapters lately, I'm making it up to you. You'll see what it is. In the meantime, check out this new chapter.

* * *

Talking

_Thinking_

(Authors notes)

[Flashback]

* * *

Luffy- I'm probably not gonna say anything before the chapter begins anymore. Sorry. It takes up space.

* * *

Luffy- I don't think we should do openings. It's kind of pointless sense people can't hear them.

Zoro- ……………………..

Luffy- Zoro? You awake?

Zoro- Huh? What? Sorry. I was sleeping, so I couldn't hear anything.

Luffy- (to audience) see? This is exactly my point!

Zoro- Ah, whatever. Just start the flask back already.

(Opening starts and ends)

Zoro- FLASHBACK TIME!

[Flashback]

Random Dojo student- Cool! Kuina beat that guy-whose-name-is-unknown again!

Another Random Dojo student- You're SO cool Kuina!

Young Roronoa Zoro- HEY!

Koshiro- What is it Now, Zoro?

Zoro- I wanna fight Kuina!

Koshiro- (sighs) fine. Kuina, are you ok with it?

Kuina- Of course.

Koshiro- Ok then, Zoro, Pick your swords out of that basket. You can use as many as you need.

Zoro- ok then.

(and he picks out at least 10 swords)

Koshiro- …….not too many swords, Zoro. But oh well. Are the both of you ready?

Zoro- Mnyup(has swords in his mouth)

Kuina- Yup. You're going down, Porcupine.

Koshiro- COMMENSE DUEL!

(a second later)

Zoro- Curses, you foiled me again! And so fast! That was faster than the time when Seto Kaiba defeated Joey in the first few episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series!

Kuina- so many swords, yet they are all pointless unless you truly-

Zoro- ok, if you're gonna make a "until you truly learn 'this valuable lesson', you will never succeed" speech, im gonna go now.

Kuina- see you tonight!

(That night)

Zoro- Kuina! Let's duel again!

Kuina- sure

Zoro- With REAL SWORDS!

(Music: Dun dun DUUUUUNNNN!!!)

Kuina- sure. Ill still beat you though

Zoro- just fight already

(and they fight, yadayadayada, then-)

Kuina – Ha! I told you I would win.

Zoro- Curses! Foiled again! And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for your dang sword lessons.

Kuina- At least you're a boy

Zoro- what do you mean by that?

Kuina- Its illegal for women to use swords in this era of time. (starts to cry). If I was caught wielding a sword, ill die. Literally. It'll be like the time Yugi Moto lost to Seto Kaiba in that duel when Kaiba summoned that Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon.

[Anime Flashback]

KAIBA: You may have beaten me before, Yugi, but this time I have the upper hand. I've placed my faith in the heart of the cards, and without Exodia, you have no chance of overcoming my unstoppable Blue-Eyes White Dragons!

YAMI: Yeah, well at least I'm not adopted!

KAIBA: What did you just say?

YAMI: Oh, sorry, did I touch a nerve? Why don't you run home and cry to mommy? Oh that's right, you don't have one!

KAIBA: Yugi, I respect you as a duelist, but if you continue to act like a petulant child then-

YAMI: Hey, everybody, look at me! I'm Seto Kaiba! I have a dragon fetish, and I sound like Brock, from Pokémon! Screw the rules, I'm in love with Nurse Joy!

KAIBA: That's it, Muto, you're f*cking dead! (_draws a card_) with this card I'll be able to combine three of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons in order to summon a monster without peer! A monster so powerful that-

YAMI: For the love of Ra, just play the damn card already.

KAIBA: Fine. Come forth, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!

YAMI: Oh, poopie!

JOEY: Get up on the Hydra's back, Yug!

YAMI: I activate Asexual Reproduction! Prepare to be completely smothered by my giant hairy balls!

_Watching from a tower above_

KEITH: This is almost as exciting as my favourite movie, _Pearl Harbor_! Those Japanese bastards got what was coming to them.. in America!

YAMI: I shall fuse my Mammoth Graveyard with your Dragon, causing it to decay from the inside!

KAIBA: How the hell did you do that?

YAMI: It's called cheating, deal with it!

KAIBA: I'd rather die than lose to my arch rival. (_steps up onto the edge of the roof_)

BAKURA: Oh my! If Yugi attacks, the shock waves could send Kaiba flying right off the edge of the castle!

KAIBA: Your gay friend is right, Yugi.

BAKURA: I'm not gay, I'm just British!

YAMI: Dude, don't you think you're overreacting a little? I mean it's just a card game.

KAIBA: Card games are serious business. Now unleash your attack, if you have the guts!

JOEY: This is awesome! Yugi's gonna kill Kaiba!

TRISTAN: I've always dreamed this moment would come!

YAMI: Kaiba must die!

YUGI: But what would grandpa say?

GRANDPA: Yuuugiii... kill that son of a bitch!

TÉA: Yugi, no! You can't take this risk! He might survive!

YUGI: She's right! We can't! Stop!

KEITH: I don't believe it! Yugi forfeited the match to Kaiba! Ben Affleck would be ashamed.. in America!

KAIBA: I knew my emo strategy would pay off. You geeks are so gullible.

YUGI: I lost a card game! I no longer have a reason to live!

BAKURA: In that case, can I be the main character?

YUGI: Hell no!

BAKURA: Bugger!

[End Anime Flashback]

Zoro- That was ONE LONG anime Flashback.

Kuina- Sorry.

Zoro- Its ok. Hey, I have an idea. Lets make a completely pointless promise!

Kuina- you sure? It'll be, you know, completely pointless.

Zoro- yes. Im positive. Besides- "What could POSSIBLY GO WRONG?"

(The Next day)

(an excerpt of Edvard Grieg's Morning Mood from Peer Grynt Suite no. 1, op. 46 is playing in the background until…_)_

Random guy- OH NO!

Zoro- What?

Koshiro- Zoro, Kuina tripped down the stairs this morning and bumped her head on the wall. Now……she's dead!!!

Zoro- What the hell, Kuina! We made a promise last night! Then you go and kill yourself! Seriously, you can't leave me all by myself! I even made a cute sweatshirt for you to wear! FINE! I'll complete our own dreams for you, and Ill ALWAYS wear that cute little sweatshirt for you! ALWAYS!(not really) I will never give up. I will never-

Koshiro- ok Zoro, that's don't need you're "never giving up" speech.

Zoro- but today's the perfect time to say it!

Koshiro- shut up already and do your training.

Zoro- what about Kuina?

Koshiro- who?

Zoro- Nevermind.

(12 years later)

Zoro(approaching Kuina's grave)- I have mastered swordsmanship. Now, I will make our dreams come-

Koshiro- ok, stop saying the "dreams come true" speech at someone that doesn't matter to anyone.

Zoro- Ok. Bye. I'm off on a journey into the vast unknown!

Koshiro- Bye!

[End Flash Back]

Luffy- ……huh. Not much references there.

Zoro- ok, so what are we gonna eat for dinner?

Luffy- Up there(points to bird)

Zoro- ok.

Luffy- Gum-Gum ridiculously pointless Arrow!

(he goes up and..)

Luffy- AAAAAAHHHHHH

Zoro- what is it?

Luffy- my head is caught in the bird's mouth! It's a surprisingly big bird.

Zoro- DAMMIT! Why do you do this EVERY TIME!

Luffy- I don't know.

Zoro- DAMMIT! I'm gonna kill you just like how Bakura killed Zombie boy in that one yu-gi-Oh! The Abridged Series episode! And then I'll Confiscate all your Naruto and Yu-Gi-Oh! DVDS!

Luffy- What the hell does Naruto and Yu-Gi-Oh! Have to do with the situation

Zoro- I like Naruto and Yu-Gi-Oh!

Luffy- Yeah, but it seemed kinda random because first of all, DVDs, let alone cassettes, never existed in this era of time. Secondly, I just realized that this Whole conversation was taken off of Naruto: The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show.

Zoro- That's a REALLY long title for a parody of a parody. I wonder why Little Kuriboh couldn't name it "Naruto: The Abridged Parody-of-a-Parody Show". I mean, it's a lot easier to memorize.

Luffy- yeah, i know. But on the other hand, that title was just as long as the other one.

Zoro- Good point. I always liked Ninjas playing Children's Card Games. But i wonder when they'll make an abridged series with pirates and parodies and references.

Luffy- Zoro, WE'RE Pirates, and WE'RE on a show. remember?

(opening and shows One Piece: The Abridged Series logo[logo still has to be made])

Zoro- Oh yeaah!

Luffy- I wonder what's taking "those three pirates" so long

* * *

MEANWHILE, on Planet Namek- I mean wherever Nami is.....

(boat has nami on it. Tightrope Walking Funan Bros appear)

Funan 1- OMG! LOOK!

Funan 2- OOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Funan 3- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Funan 1- lets get it

(they go over there on their boat)

Funan 1- Hey, miss.....miss?

Nami- h-...help me.

Funan 2- what do you need?

Nami- Water and bread. That's all. and if you have a dildo, ill gladly take that as well. I love masturbating myself. take all the gold you need. I just need water and bread in return. and possibly a dildo if you have one.

Funan 1- Sure thing. We'll just take this chest over here first

Funan 2- Hey, help me- AAAHH there's no gold in here!

Funan 3- WWWHHHAAAATT!?!?!?!

(Nami is missing...or is she?)

Nami- Ha! You guys fell for my act! and for the record, I never masturbate myself. So forget the dildo!(to herself) hmm...looks like a storm is brewing. One...Two...Three....BINGO!

(Storm tears down the ship)

Funan 1- Hey! how did you know the storm would hit us instead of you?

Nami- Its called cheating; deal with it!(to herself) Even though I have humongously huge, giant, perky breasts, i never masturbate.

Funan- We'll get you for this, Nami!!!!!

* * *

Meanwhile......

Zoro- so that's what happened?

Funan 1-yeah. thats the whole story. though i wonder how the hell i knew Nami's name.

Zoro- oh well. thanks to you, Luffy is probably drowning by now.

* * *

Luffy(still in the birds mouth)- i wonder how long 'til i reach land......???

* * *

Zoro- Anyways, who did you say you were again? You all seem to refer to yourself as Funan 1, 2, and 3.

Funan 2- come to think of it, I never knew our names.

Funan 3- WE ALL never knew our names!

Funan 1- Maybe we are the Three Musketeers.

Zoro- well anyways, its too late to have buggy appear in this chapter.

Buggy- HEY!

Zoro- ah well. The next chapter will probably be released on New Years. I dont know. anyways Merry-

Luffy- Christmas-

Nami- To

Funan 1- All-

Funan 2- And-

Funan 3- To

Kuina- All

Buggy- A-

Kaiba- Good

Yami- Night!

Buggy- Hey, Yami- You're not even in this chapter-

Zoro- Let alone this whole series-

Luffy- So how in the name of continuity did you get here?

Yami- Its called cheating; deal with it!

(Ending Music: Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series Theme)

(Caption: I made this abridged series. You wanna know how? Its called cheating; deal with it!)

* * *

RM- and that's the end of the episode. Hope you liked it!

P.S. Sorry if i put too much YGO: TAS references. Its called cheating; deal with it. jk. Btw, i recently noticed that Zoro's backstory comes later in the anime/manga. sorry guys. you had an early preview. I will try and revise it when the backstory comes in the anime/manga.


	6. GumGum meets ChokeChoke

Disclaimer- The Following is a Non-Profit Fan-Based Parody. One Piece is owned by Toei Animation, FUNimation and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release. That's right folks. I'm back from 6 months of non-abridging!

Talking

_Thinking_

Song

[Acutal FUNimation or Manga Dialogue, Monologue, Soliloquoy, or Aside. Aside = actual term for the internet meme "breaking the fourth wall"](If there is any)

*panting*

{Flashback}(If there is any)

-official beginning

(Me)

* * *

(Prologue)

(Nami running through the streets in Buggy Town)

[Actual Dialogue] Buggy Pirate 1- STOP! You can't run from us!

Buggy Pirate 2- Thief! Give us back our map to the Dragon Balls!

Nami- *pant**pant* Finally! I have it! Now I can steal TeamFourStar's Dragon Balls! Its a coincidence that their universe and our universe takes place in the same time period.

Random guy- No it doesn't!

Nami- Shut Up!

Buggy Pirate 3- Dammit! It we don't get that map back to the boss, We'll never get our wishes!

Buggy Pirate 2- If Captain Buggy finds out about this, we're fired!

(Meanwhile, near Buggy)

Buggy Pirate 4- Reporting Captain Buggy sir! In Unidentified Flying Rubber Man is in the air with his head in the bird's mouth!

Buggy- Ah screw it. Shoot it down. Its not like the guy will be some important main character whom he'll kick my ass in the near future most likely One Chapter from now

Buggy Pirate 4- Aye Aye, Sir!

(Makeshift noise) GABLOOGAMEEN!(They shoot the bird and Luffy lands on top of Nami)

Buggy Pirate 3- Ah! Some guy fell from Heaven! We're Screwed up for life!

Nami- Nyeh?

Luffy- UUGGGghhh. Why the f*** did they shoot a cannon ball at me! I save a village of lives 2 Chapters ago and this is the thanks I get.

Buggy 3- AHH! He Lives! He's an Alien! Run for your lives!

Nami- Hey, Im Nam- Wait a minute. You're that Luffy Guy I met back in Chapter 2, aren't you

Luffy- Yup

Nami- And you beat Alvida and kicked her ass, right?

Luffy- Yup

Nami- And you asked me to join you crew, right!

Luffy- Yup

Nami- And now we meet again, right?

Luffy- Yup

Nami- And you're here to take revenge on Buggy for seizing this town and kicking out all of the townsfolk, right?

Luffy- Nope

Nami- And- wait a minute, if you're not here to kick Buggy's Ass, then why are you here?

Luffy- Me and My friend, were hungry from drifting out at sea, then I saw this really huge bird, got stuck in it's mouth, someone shot me down, and landed on top of you. I Have No Idea where the hell I am.

Nami-...

Luffy- Uhh, hello?

Nami-...I hate irony

* * *

(Opening)

Pocketo, no Coin! Soreto You Wanna be my friend? 

We Are, We Are, on the Cruise! We are!

(Opening Ends)

Buggy- You still can not catch that Girl?

Buggy 4- We're still trying to catch her, Oh Malevolent one!

Buggy- How they hell do you think I am going to make my wish with the Seven Dragon Balls If I can not even try and get the first one? We're Going to enter the Grand Line Soon in search for the Seven Dragon Balls, and Then We make a wish That I become king of all abridgers! How the f*** is that not hard to understand?

Buggy 4- well, you see sir, since the first guy that went out to get the dragon balls from our party left and never came back-

Buggy- Are you suggesting that we leave it be?

Buggy 4- No sir, I'm just suggesting that we can-

Buggy- I do not want any excuses

Buggy 5- No sir! Don't use-

(Buggy gets out Children's Trading Card)

Buggy- I SUMMON DARTH VADER!

Darth Vader- Yes, Master Buggy

Buggy- Force Choke him for me, will ya?

Vader- As you wish

Buggy 4- No, Anything but-

Buggy- Die

(Vader force chokes him to death)

Buggy- Throw him with all the other useless dead bodies. We can use them for my Special Buggy Balls. Here's a cookie for you Vader.

Vader- Mmmmm. I love cookies. Before I became a Dark Sith Lord, Padme used to bake cookies for me every weekend.

Buggy- What about now?

Vader- I have a motherf***ing mask on which will kill me if I try to remove it and I will die before You can say Card Games on Motorcycles.

Buggy- Card-

Vader- Don't even think about it

Buggy-...Dammit

(Meanwhile)

Nami- So, you got separated from your lazy friend? How many people are in your crew?

Luffy- So Far, One. Is this your house?

Nami- No. This is one of the townsfolks houses. I'm using it as a secret elaborate base until thet occupy it again.

Luffy- So in other words, You pretty much stole this house from the townsfolk.

Nami- That's The Idea

Luffy-...Sweetness

Nami- Anyways, about buggy

Luffy- Question

Nami- Yes?

Luffy- If Buggy is a clown pirate, does that mean he used to work at a circus?

Nami- No. He didn't work at a circus.

Luffy- Dammit

Nami- Ok. Buggy is a ruthless clown pirate that terrorizes towns in the east blue, with his love of cannon balls-

Luffy- Question

Nami- Yes?

Luffy- Why the hell did the creator name the oceans East, North, West, and South Blue? Couldn't he just have named them Atlantic, Pacific, Arctic, and Indian?

Nami- Those names are already used in the real world. Although I never knew why The Indian Ocean was the only Ocean named after a country, India...

Luffy- Maybe its because India is the greatest country ever.

Nami- True, but I still don't know why...anyways, He used to terrorize the East Blue. But I stole the map for a reason.

Luffy- What reason?

Nami- With the map, I can get the Dragon Balls, and wish that a certain village could be free from tirany.

Luffy- Ok.

Nami- So, what do you say? Do you wanna-

Luffy- Join my pirate crew?

Nami-...I'm...sorry?

Luffy- Join my pirate crew?

Nami- EWW! I Absolutely HATE Pirates! I will never, EVER-

Luffy- Too late, Welcome aboard Nami!

Nami- What the f***

(10 minutes later)

Nami- HEHE, this is pay back for sexual harassment.

Luffy- But I never-

Nami- Shut up!

(Meanwhile)

Buggy- WWHHHAAATT? You Lost track of the Map Thief?

Buggy 3- We're sorry captain buggy sir, but there was this really strong guy that the thief claimed to be her boss and all and-

Buggy- Cut the Crap already!

Buggy 6- Sir, The Map-

Buggy- You found her?

Buggy 6- Well, its the other way around sir

Buggy- What do you mean, Smee

Buggy 6- But I'm not-

Buggy- Shut the Crap! When all this is over, we're going back to our game, when I'm Captain Hook and You're Smee, the guy that I get to order around all day and not argue one bit, got it!

Buggy 6-...yes sir

Buggy- Now what of this Thief

Buggy 6- She's here sir

Buggy- Where here?

Buggy 6- At the front gate sir. There's the thief has a tied up guy in a straw hat.

Buggy- Let her in.

Nami- HI ya Buggy! Do you need anything? Coffee? Chocolate? The Map to the Dragon Balls?

Buggy- No thank- wait a minute, the Map to the Dragon Balls?

Nami- Yup. I came to give it back.

Buggy- Great! Welcome aboard! You're now officially one of Buggy's Pirates!

Nami- But I never said-

Buggy- Shut Up! You're gonna be a pirate or there's gonna be some serious cannonballing, got it?

Nami- Yes sir.

(Epilogue! With TBA Logo)

(Caption: I hope you all liked my comeback)

(After Credit Dialogue)

Funan 1- We're here Mister Zolo-

Zoro- It's MOTHER F***ING ZORO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Funan 2- Sorry Zoro.

Zoro- whatever. Anyways, I need to find this Buggy and ask him about anything on Luffy. And While I'm at it, I may steal some crap...Like a scroll...The Ninja Scroll. Which reminds me, Naruto Still needs to teach me how to make a Shadow Clone.

(Ending!)


End file.
